Just happy to be here!

I'm writing this entry at 8:00 pm Alaska Time and this time last year I was in Never-Neverland! That is, I was still knocked out from having open-heart surgery 12 hours earlier in the day. I unsuccessfully tried to convince my wife Marian to write today's entry because she was more qualified and painfully aware of all that happened that day, and the next few days, before the doctor's thought it safe to wake me up. All the gory details of my operation, hospitalization and Marian's heartfelt thoughts of those first few days can be read in the entries she made on my blog (see archived entries).

I'm somewhat puzzled about my feelings today, or lack thereof. Efforts to try to understand it go unrewarded. Maybe it's because it's hard to believe an entire year has passed and yet the memories of the ordeal are crystal clear in my mind. A day doesn't go by that I'm not reminded of the operation by seeing the incision scar on my chest...but it doesn't bother me, I'm comfortable with it now. Frankly, I was more bothered by my doctor's attempts to medicate me with beta-blockers and other blood pressure control medications, because as you already know from earlier blog entries, I had a disastrous time getting back on track with my marathon training because of the medication experiments.

I had dinner with my European traveling buddy Bob Bowker today to discuss our upcoming trip; however, we spent more time conversing about our respective medical adventures (his successful battle with prostate cancer and my heart operation) than talking about the trip. A great amount of time was spent discussing whether or not our respective medical condition changed our lives, if we had an epiphany of sorts. Surprisingly, we both answered that it hadn't to any significant degree. We weren't sure why but we did think that already having a positive attitude about life (despite my periods of grumpiness) and being physically fit had something to do with it. One thing we both agreed upon quickly; however, was that the love for our family and friends was strengthened by the experience. With that thought shared, I'll end this entry and be thankful that I'm no longer in Never-Neverland!